So after a year of back pain I finally saw a physical therapist today who diagnosed my problem almost immediately: my right leg is 1/8" shorter than my left. I'm unbalanced. And after all these many years my back is tired of compensating for it, so big owww for me.
The cure is simple, however. I was afraid I'd have to do months of strange exercises, but all I need is "orthotics." Which are great! Little insoles that fit discreetly in my tennis shoes.
But orthotics in the Blahniks???? I DON'T THINK SO. He told me wearing heels is part of the problem. Stop wearing heels? What am I gonna do with a closet full of 4" platforms, peep-toes, rose-adorned D'Orsays, sequined mules, shiny red patents? I came home from Las Vegas two weeks ago with a suitcase with 3 new pairs in it; screw the gambling. The point is I've got lots of wondrous shoes and believe me, these charming orthotics won't fit in any of them. And even if they did fit they'd look pathetic, kinda like those commercials that try to make it look like those old people are having such fun at the nursing home.
I LOVE wearing heels! Must wear heels! In last month's Elle magazine the Fashion Know-it-All (who is this person? I have no idea. Probably some hideous Yeti in a closet that sits there all alone and dreams up hilarious answers to reader's inane fashion questions) said that it's "not so much how you wear them but that you are prepared for what will happen to you if you do." Ha!!! I thought that was so hilarious. Happen to you? Like what? Tottering over into a gutter? Getting the heel stuck in someone's lawn and going around in circles like a dog leashed to a stake? (Not to worry, I do know what the Yeti meant by that. One of my girlfriends in Seattle calls them CFM shoes & it shouldn't take you long to figure that one out.)
But I figger most of these are 2-hour shoes anyway--great for wearing to dinner, sitting for a couple hours, and walking from the restaurant back to the car (or the golf cart, in my case). Two-hour shoes are not quite the same as 5-minute underwear, which is also fabulous, expensive, but not very comfortable--and you have to be prepared for what will happen to you when you wear that, too-- but that's the subject of a different column altogether.)
Anyway, I'm not giving them up, orthotics or no orthotics. So if you run into me at a cocktail party & I'm wearing heels & leaning to the left like the tower of Pisa, you'll know why. And if my back still hurts, I'LL know why.
P.S. I was lying about the Blahniks. I don't really own any. I just pretend I do. Most of my shoes come from TJ Maxx. It just rhymed with "orthotics." Sorta.
Wednesday, May 14, 2008
Monday, May 5, 2008
Sunday, May 4, 2008
Derby Party
It seemed like a great idea: Throw a "Derby Party" on Derby Day. Put up huge T.V. screens. Have everyone place bets on the race. Ask the women to wear fancy hats. Have a big dinner in a tent. Bring Jaime Donegan (Follies Guy) in to put on a little after-dinner show. Raise tons of money for Children's Village. Play lawn games. Drink mint juleps.
The ladies of the Flo Wight Guild undertook this very aggressive, creative plan and made it come true. But ah, Palm Springs of Washington in the spring. Nobody knows what the weather's gonna do, and in this spring, the crappiest-weather spring we've seen in years, it did whatever it wanted. And that was mainly rain and be crappy and cold. It's pretty hard to Keep Your Cute On when it's that cold.
So the hats were definitely out in full force, but many women admitted to me that the dress they'd planned on wearing didn't end up being what they wore, and the ones who wore the spring-y things they planned on wearing mostly froze to death. So we all started out looking like Garden Party and most ended up looking like Ski Trip. Bummer.
By the end of the evening we all wished we had worn earmuffs, mittens & mukluks. The poor lonely, wet bocce balls sat unused in the lawn. So it goes in the Palm Springs of Washington in the spring.
But it sure was fun! The bets were placed, the race was run, the juleps were drunk, the food was delish, the show was entertaining, the money was raised, the Flo Wight ladies worked their buns off, and the hats....well, the hats. I must show some photos! So much blogability.
My award for Style Star of the event goes to Pam Martinkus for this spectacular black hat. She won the "Widest Brim" award--which I guess was worth the effort of having to have someone clear a path for her every time she wanted to walk through the tent. It definitely took up some space.
But the combination of the black & white checks & the taxi-yellow shawl & jewelry, along with (sorry you can't see them here) black & white checked espadrilles---ah, perfection! She had it all goin on.
Of course by the end of the evening she had on a black raincoat & the shawl was wrapped around her neck like she was going skiing, but hey, she sure made the supreme effort. Fabulicious!!!!
Here's Jumpin' Judy, Yakima's most ardent horse-lover, and co-chair of the event. What else but a candy-pink, maribou-trimmed cowgirl hat would do for her? And her white shawl had a horse design on the back. So appropriate-ish.
The ladies of the Flo Wight Guild undertook this very aggressive, creative plan and made it come true. But ah, Palm Springs of Washington in the spring. Nobody knows what the weather's gonna do, and in this spring, the crappiest-weather spring we've seen in years, it did whatever it wanted. And that was mainly rain and be crappy and cold. It's pretty hard to Keep Your Cute On when it's that cold.
So the hats were definitely out in full force, but many women admitted to me that the dress they'd planned on wearing didn't end up being what they wore, and the ones who wore the spring-y things they planned on wearing mostly froze to death. So we all started out looking like Garden Party and most ended up looking like Ski Trip. Bummer.
By the end of the evening we all wished we had worn earmuffs, mittens & mukluks. The poor lonely, wet bocce balls sat unused in the lawn. So it goes in the Palm Springs of Washington in the spring.
But it sure was fun! The bets were placed, the race was run, the juleps were drunk, the food was delish, the show was entertaining, the money was raised, the Flo Wight ladies worked their buns off, and the hats....well, the hats. I must show some photos! So much blogability.
My award for Style Star of the event goes to Pam Martinkus for this spectacular black hat. She won the "Widest Brim" award--which I guess was worth the effort of having to have someone clear a path for her every time she wanted to walk through the tent. It definitely took up some space.
But the combination of the black & white checks & the taxi-yellow shawl & jewelry, along with (sorry you can't see them here) black & white checked espadrilles---ah, perfection! She had it all goin on.
Of course by the end of the evening she had on a black raincoat & the shawl was wrapped around her neck like she was going skiing, but hey, she sure made the supreme effort. Fabulicious!!!!
Here's Jumpin' Judy, Yakima's most ardent horse-lover, and co-chair of the event. What else but a candy-pink, maribou-trimmed cowgirl hat would do for her? And her white shawl had a horse design on the back. So appropriate-ish.
Ah, Mrs. Dolson--where do you get a hat as lovely as this? Daffodil yellow, lots of flowers, lots of netting, lots of ribbons and a big wide brim. This is a True Derby Hat. She looked spectacular, just as always.
Rhonda--straw with furry, feathery stuff. She has good hat hair, lucky thing. And she was smart enough to dress warm.
Cindi --who knew she had a Martha Stewart side?--- decorated this hot pink baby with spring flowers, lots of tulle, and butterflies flitting about. Fierce, Baby, Fierce!
Terri, the other co-chair of the event, in a classic dark suit and black fedora with emerald green bow. Very chic! I believe she was born chic, however. She told me she had a nice warm sweater under it, but by the end of the evening, everyone was wishing they'd brought their parkas.
Pat found her hat at TJ Maxx in Palm Springs--it was a delightful melange of some kind of tulle, black twisty things and flowers and ribbons and who knows what all. Love that yellow! And she admitted she changed outfits at the last minute & went for warmth. One of the smart ones.
They both looked great despite that nasty weather.
Some people can just wear hats better than others. Ann, also on the planning committee, in black & white with a feathered & flowered wide-brimmed number. She looks so at home in this! She should wear it everywhere! Even on those trips to Wal-Mart! And the white kid gloves wrapped around her mint julep--nice touch. I'm a sucker for beautiful gloves.
Mary Jo --- spectacular in this fuschia hat; we could never lose in that crowd with that color on her head! Plus a very sharp black suit (she didn't say whether she had ski underwear on under it). Again I award Mary Jo the "Best of Shoe" award for these FIERCE floral pumps (sorry you can't see them very well--trust me, they're fabulosity) which would go with about anything in anyone's wardrobe. Especially mine. I need those. Mary Jo, call me, what size are you?
Jan did the black & white thing with a big ol' wide-brimmed black hat and some gorgeous jewelry she said was from Greece. Or the Bahamas. Or Madagascar. I can't remember, it was getting late by then. Lotsa mint juleps later.....
Even Bugle Man had a cool hat! Plus the riding boots. And a bugle. And a glass of wine for his most indispensible accessory. Good thing he was there too, because it took a lot of bugling to get this rowdy crowd's attention. Nice job Mr. Bugle Man!
Kelly was one of the few smart enough to dress warm enough for the weather in a long skirt & boots. But the hat was especially delicious: looked like she planted a small forest on the top. 
Teeny-weeny lady in a great big hat! Helen Jewett truly outshone everyone else at the party as Derby Queen, dressed entirely in white with this lovely chapeau to match. She sponsored the event, underwriting all the expenses. Quite royal, huh?
Lilly Lee won "Best Vintage Hat" or something like that (give me a break, it was late in the day & we'd been drinking since 2:00) with this smashing ostrich-feather & rose-covered number that belonged to her mother. Tip: if Lilly Lee ever offers you a tour of her upstairs closet, TAKE IT! This woman never throws away anything & her closet is full of vintage wonderment! Not only hers but her parent's. And her grandparent's & whoever else, for all I know. Anyway, she looked adorable.
Not to be outdone, some of the men joined in the hat parade. I asked Don where he got this spiffalicious top hat: "My attic." He also wore a very patriotic tie. Cool, Don.
And Wyatt, one of the entertainers, had charming Laurel & Hardy suspenders. He's so cute! Kinda the convenient, take-home size!
Marie, pretty much the Doyenne of the Flo Wight Guild--Bummer, you looked so fabulous in your Grandmother's Tournament hat but your eyes were closed. I'm so sorry! Blame the photographer, she's still kinda new at this. It was a great party!
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Vegas, Baby
I just got back from a long weekend in Vegas. Okay, you got your gambling, you got your drinking, you got your shows & your shopping. But Vegas fashion is in a category all it's own. Now here's my main question: When did the line between what is a blouse and what is a dress disappear? The blouses are long and the dresses are short so they've both just kind of morphed together. I want to call them blesses. Or drouses. I kept wanting to ask some of these girls, "Hmmm, excuse me Dear, but did you just forget to put on your Sevens?"
And how do they wear those shoes all over the city? There's a lot of walking involved in Vegas but I'd see women still standing at craps tables at 7 a.m. wearing the same shoes they'd worn all night. Maybe the alcohol kills the pain. Or maybe winning thousands of dollars kills the pain. Maybe just wearing Christian Laboutin kills the pain.
And how do they wear those shoes all over the city? There's a lot of walking involved in Vegas but I'd see women still standing at craps tables at 7 a.m. wearing the same shoes they'd worn all night. Maybe the alcohol kills the pain. Or maybe winning thousands of dollars kills the pain. Maybe just wearing Christian Laboutin kills the pain.
Monday, April 21, 2008
YWCA Luncheon
Eight hundred women attended the YWCA lucheon today--okay, maybe 790 women and 10 men--to hear Denise Brown, Nicole Brown Simpson's sister, speak on domestic violence & to raise money for the YW's Battered Women's Shelter.
Usually this is a spring event that brings out that little bit of style that we can find in Yakima every once in a while--new spring skirts & tops, a few dresses here & there, some florals & fun colors. But this year it was 43 degrees out and by afternoon sleet was coming down, the wind was howling, and we were back in February. Oh well.
Denise, from Dana Point, Cal. & obviously not ready for this winter business, bundled up in a big ol' grey sweater thing. Not so flattering.
My choice for Style Star was Elyse Umemoto (from Wapato----whuhpato?) who is Miss Washington and runner-up to Miss America. She gave a short speech, made the big "ask", and wore a fabulous Chanel-style tweed suit that was finger-lickin' fabulous. Yum! Course all those pageant girls have to have a nice suit, I'm sure. Plus she was so relaxed, endearing, and very poised but very un-pageanty about the whole thing. Of course I couldn't get her pic because afterward she was pretty much mobbed by the 10 men that attended the thing. But I like to think she would have been really cool about it. I'm pretty sure we would have been friends. Hmmm.
Anyway, there was lots of style to be had if one looked in all the corners. Here's some of it:
Whatever happened to suits? You know what this town needs? More suits! This red houndstooth is so chic--like Leah was channeling Princess Di. And perfect for a spring day that was so freakin cold everyone wished they'd stayed home roasting marshmallows in front of the fireplace. She looked great & confessed that she'd gotten it a couple seasons back at Macy's. But it still is very fresh for 2009, it's a great look and the color was welcome in a sea of black and beige.
Usually this is a spring event that brings out that little bit of style that we can find in Yakima every once in a while--new spring skirts & tops, a few dresses here & there, some florals & fun colors. But this year it was 43 degrees out and by afternoon sleet was coming down, the wind was howling, and we were back in February. Oh well.
Denise, from Dana Point, Cal. & obviously not ready for this winter business, bundled up in a big ol' grey sweater thing. Not so flattering.
My choice for Style Star was Elyse Umemoto (from Wapato----whuhpato?) who is Miss Washington and runner-up to Miss America. She gave a short speech, made the big "ask", and wore a fabulous Chanel-style tweed suit that was finger-lickin' fabulous. Yum! Course all those pageant girls have to have a nice suit, I'm sure. Plus she was so relaxed, endearing, and very poised but very un-pageanty about the whole thing. Of course I couldn't get her pic because afterward she was pretty much mobbed by the 10 men that attended the thing. But I like to think she would have been really cool about it. I'm pretty sure we would have been friends. Hmmm.
Anyway, there was lots of style to be had if one looked in all the corners. Here's some of it:
Whatever happened to suits? You know what this town needs? More suits! This red houndstooth is so chic--like Leah was channeling Princess Di. And perfect for a spring day that was so freakin cold everyone wished they'd stayed home roasting marshmallows in front of the fireplace. She looked great & confessed that she'd gotten it a couple seasons back at Macy's. But it still is very fresh for 2009, it's a great look and the color was welcome in a sea of black and beige.
Hmm, can one get thrown in jail for surrepticiously taking pics of people's shoes? Like the guy at the mall a couple years ago? Well, I guess he wasn't looking at shoes, but anyway....
Actually, I did confess to Mary Jo later that I'd ambush-blogged her. Aren't they great? Black and white spectator types , 4" heels, platforms, and peep-toes. What else could a shoe want? She says they're a little difficult to walk in, but hey--shoes this great are a work of art. Hang them on your wall and stare at them every morning when you wake up. Fabulous way to start your day. And if you do occasionally wear them, wear them like you mean it. Wear them confidently, like you wear shoes like that every day of your life. Even to Safeway.
Kay did the twin-set & pearls thing for the luncheon, and we're talkin lots & lots of pearls--but like I told her, one can never have too many, right? Anyway, the sweater set was splashed with all kinds of springy flowers and even little dresses and other misc. things, and it was perfect for this occasion.
And from SteinMart!!!! Score! We should start a campaign to get a SteinMart here in the Palm Springs of Washington. T.J. Maxx can only take a girl so far.
Tuesday, April 8, 2008
Red-Neck Sports Bra
Gotta love this! I'll keep it brief. Literally. Look carefully--it's kinda hard to tell that this is actually a pair of men's Hanes undies turned upside down. Well, give this girl style points for originality.....A whole new answer to "Who Wears the Pants in this Family?"
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