Winemaker's Dinner

First let me say that my camera is going bonkers on me so after a good deal of whining I'm on my way to Target to replace it. So I hope you don't mind the crap quality of these pics but the next ones had better be better!
Winemaker's Dinner was Thursday night at YCC & everyone gathered to drink some wonderful L'ecole wines, enjoy the summer night, and show off a little bit of style.

Sandra, I must apologize. I had to take about 5 shots of her before I finally got this, and it's still not the best--but her outfit is perfect: off-the-shoulder black jersey top & black & white print mini with tiny ruffle. Ok, so this wouldn't be great on anyone who didn't have a tiny body, but Sandra looked fierce & fabulous that night.

Barb, Karen & Judi enjoying their wine & advertising my blog. Loved Barb's floor-length, strapless, leafy print--perfect for a casual hot summer night like this. And they're all so coordinated! Whew.

Who wore it best????? I love it when ladies show up at an event wearing the same event wearing the same thing. Ooops! No, this was actually planned and I wish the pic didn't look like I'd already had 3 glasses of wine (which I probably had). Pat got this fabulicious black T with sequined wine glasses and the message "Group Therapy" on it & liked it so much she ordered one for everyone in her bridge group. S0 Karen & Cricket joined in on the fun. Sorry you can't read them. That's why I already told you what it says. I think I need a little group therapy myself.

"Ummelina" or "How I Came to Believe in Unicorns"

I have to admit that when Ummelina announced that it was opening a branch of the premier Seattle spa in Yakima, I wanted to immediately become a charter member. What took me so long to get around to actually going there, however, was reading their brochure.

It's obvious this brochure was written by some frustrated Liberal Arts major who never quite got the dream job she'd always wanted. It's loaded with phrases like "rainforest journey" and "freely exploring unique treasures" and "celebrating the journey toward awareness" and other assorted wierdities. When I got to the description of the pregnancy massage as "taking the special time to bond with the life inside you" I think I threw up a little in my mouth. This place was obviously not for me.

So I was a little trepidatious about taking this Journey Toward Awareness right here in NotQuitePalmSprings.

But in the name of research (I have friends coming from the East Coast next week who may need some entertainment after seeing the size of our mall), I decided that the journey had to be taken. I scheduled my appointment.

Unknowingly, I scheduled it for the morning after a Winemaker's Dinner. The Winemaker's Dinners are legendary for sending one from Zero to Drunk in about 15 minutes, so after eating 3 courses of meat and drinking an untold number of L'Ecole wines of all varieties, I awoke the next morning feeling not so great.

I wouldn't say I really had a hangover, but my head was pounding, I felt like I had been chewing cotton balls all night, my eyeballs felt like they were bleeding, I came close to spewing in Pilates class and I was so thirsty Ithought it sounded pleasant to have IV fluids flowing directly to every artery in my body.

Okay. I had a hangover. Of massive proportions.

The first order of business at Ummelina is the "Transition Room." Okay, it's a dressing room. Evidently it's when you transition from your clothes into a waffley pullover robe thing. All your regular clothes and belongings are put in a garment bag. These garment bags evidently can't just have numbers or names on them. Mine was named "Peaceful Moments." The garment bag gets put in a locked closet with other bags with names like "Bliss" and "Tranquility." I did not see any named "Wierdness" or "Whatever" or "This Place Could Creep Me Out Just a Little."

Then you bang a gong. No seriously, when you're transitioned into your waffle thing you bang the gong to call someone (ok, a "guide") to lead you down a very tranquil bamboo-filled hallway to the very tranquil Tea Room. The Tea Room had two teas from which to choose that day: one was called "Pregnancy Tea" and the other one was something with lavender in it. Preferring not to drink flowers, I opted for the pregnant one after the Tea Room lady promised me it wouldn't make me pregnant. I wondered if men ever chose the Pregnancy Tea. I'm pretty sure they don't.

So I sat in a lovely wicker chair drinking pregnant tea, my feet dangling onto a mat made of rocks, and waited. I filled out the standard spa questionaire which asks about my aches and pains, surgeries, drugs, how many drinks I have per week, etc. Like I would tell them that! Ha! Also it's nobody's business if I had liposuction ten years ago, I mean, you know, theoretically, IF I had. I tend to leave out a lot of information that I figure they don't really need.

Then a nice girl (ok, "guide") comes in and washes my feet in a big plastic bowl and rubs something on my legs, all the while telling me what great products she's using. That feels good. (The rub, not the sales speech).

Finally Melaina shows up. Melaina is my new BFF. She's going to massage this hangover right outta me. But first she takes me to the RAINBOW SHOWER. THE RAINBOW SHOWER???? No one has told me about the Rainbow Shower! She leads me to a room with a little sliding barn door that kind of reminds me of Mr. Ed's living quarters, and shows me this most fabulous shower. Water pours from the ceiling! Water spouts from the side walls! Water goes around in circles, in rectangles, in RAINBOWS! From everywhere! I love this place! And that's when I begin to believe in unicorns. Rainbows, unicorns, fairies with their own little harps. This place is truly heaven! Oh please don't make me get out of this shower! My hangover is washing down the drain, drop by glorious rainbow-filled drop!

I make liberal use of the many wonderful hair, face, and body products in the shower. (Hey, I'm paying $90 for this, I want my money's worth), and finally, slowly, regretfully, reluctantly get out and dry myself off. When I slide open the barn door, there's Melaina waiting for me. (Has she been standing there the whole time?)

She leads me to the massage room and after I tell her about my lower back pain proceeds to make a concentrated effort on my upper back. No matter, I sleep through most of it, carried off to slumberland by thoughts of the fairy-filled shower. Melaina mercifully doesn't require much in the way of conversation. Good BFFs are like that.

After an hour of this bliss I'm limp as yesterday's newspaper left out in the rain. I manage to drag myself off the table, put on the waffle robe, and open the door where Melaina is once again waiting for me. (Has she been standing there the whole time?)

She tells me I can sit in the Tea Room again if I'd like, or I can sit outdoors in the very tranquil garden. I go for the garden. The garden is actually a little spot of concrete near where the mall fountain once gurgled. It's filled with cushy wicker patio furniture with lime green and chocolate cushions and loosely bordered by huge pots of bamboo and assorted other green things. It's a sunny but breezy day. I sat in the cushy chair with a warm Bucky around my neck and drank water and thought happy thoughts.

I also wondered whether homeless people ever push their grocery carts full of pop cans up to this little oasis and avail themselves of the tables and chairs, thinking this might be a nicer place to rest than, say, Miller Park or somewhere.

It seems very odd to me to be sitting a bathrobe with a Bucky and my hair sticking out all directions in what was once the Yakima Mall. I stare out at what used to be Nordstrom and listen to the chirp chirp chirp of the walk signals. I wonder if blind people know that chirp-chirp-chirp means walk-walk -walk? And if they're going to make walk signals that make noise, why don't they just make them come right out and say walk-walk-walk? Wouldn't that make more sense to a blind person?

After a couple police cars go by with sirens blaring I start to think there may be a drive-by shooter nearby and I do not want to appear in tomorrow's paper "Spa patron in waffley robe gunned down through the bamboo on Yakima Avenue..." so I stagger to the Transition Room, bang the gong yet again, and someone (ok, a "guide") comes to unlock the closet and retrieve my clothes. But in my state of course I can't remember--was I "Bliss"? No, wasn't I "Tranquility"? Or was I "Peaceful Moments"? Maybe I was "I Believe in Unicorns." I finally correctly guess Peaceful Moments but I can't help wondering if maybe Bliss had better clothes or Tranquility may have contained in it somewhere a Visa card with limit higher than mine. Hmmmm.

And on that note:

Ummelina one hour massage: $90

Tip for Melaina, my BFF: $20

Products that I probably will never use: $45

Losing the hangover/Living to party another night: Priceless.

Shoe Club, Take Two

Yay! Another meeting of the shoe club! This time we went to Santiago's for dinner al fresco on a beautiful summer night and then (after several margaritas) raced to the theater to see "Sex & the City." It was my second time to see the movie, but who's counting? At least I didn't cry all through it this time so I could actually see what was going on. Loved it, loved it.

Tim the Footographer showed up again, just for the Footo session.

These are Lucy's: very cool combination of black patent and cork in a comfy wedge.

Denise arrived straight from work in these great snakeskin strappy sandals. Chic and snakey.

Me: Linea Paolo cranberry patent and pink suede, with charming bows, slingbacks & 3" chunky heels so one can actually walk in them (can't see in this pic but oh well). They don't go with anything I own! I don't care!

Carol: Great patent leather sling-backs in a go-with-anything browny-bronzy tone.

"Best of Shoe" that night, hands down, no contest, competition over: Terry went shopping in Chicago and ended up coming home and ordering these gladiator sandals with 4" heels, platform, straps, zippers, and just a little touch of S&M thrown in for good measure. (whips, chains & great danes not included) Yikes!!! Shoes like these could change your world! And when we went to the movie and saw SJP strutting the streets of NY in them, we knew they were the perfect purchase for our tap-dancing teacher. She's definitely got the Struttability Factor. And they made her appear approximately 6'5".

Okay, here's the total Carol picture--denim skirt, fitted white tee, and blogalicious little hat. Very un-Yakima-like of her. (That's a compliment).

Isn't it all about the accessories? Isn't that what separates us from the lower species? Terry's bunny-fur Chanel bag with tortoise-shell clasp & Chanel chain. (Tortoise & the hare, get it?) And --too bad you can't see the intertwined C's on the hinged two-tone bangle. Oooooohlala.

You've seen the shoes, the bag, and the bracelet: here's the total Terry in front of the Sex & the City poster. What you can't see is that her black cotton skirt (from Garden Dance right here in NotQuitePalmSprings!) has all kinds of cool features like tiny zippers on the side that transform it from paper-bag skirt to a fuller--well, ok---square-dancy--style. Plus gold lame' jacket, white flowered belt, black jersey top. The pose? There may have been margaritas involved.
If you can't wear this on a night with the girls, when can you wear it, I ask?

Speechless

This pic was sent in by an alert blog-reader, who received it on the interwebz. I really don't have a caption for it. If you can think of something witty to say, please comment. OMG.

Men's Golf Crocs--Get 'em While They're HOT!

This sign is for real! And it was sent in by an alert blog-reader so that we could all answer that age-old question: "What can I get Dad for Father's Day that could possibly be uglier than regular old ugly golf shoes?" OMG. Crocs are truly taking over the world. Resist.

Fabulous Feet

Judi's feet spend most of their time in cowgirl boots but she released her Inner Goddess here with a glam purple pedicure & gold Romanesque sandals. Who knew that a horse-jumper had such hidden talents? Love these toes!

Relay for Life

There was a lot of style shown at the Relay for Life--survivor t-shirts, wigs, bald heads, and prosthetics. But Johnny showed the most style on the track by running a total of 100 miles--in less than the 24 hours. This is what he looked like at the end: covered in tie-dye rainbows, his Lawrence-of Arabia baseball cap, his Achilles wrap, and his daughter by his side. And still smiling! And upright! What a guy--he was a real inspiration to everyone out there. And quite stylish as well, I think.

More Shoes

These are two pair that were too blogalicious to pass up:

Hot tomatoes! Not everyone can wear tomatoes on their feet, but Clay works at Allied Arts, so what better place for them? A good way to get your daily serving of veggies, I figger.

Love these! Jessica, our new Allied Arts Director, was wearing a great pair of brown pumps with the new thicker heels, brass buckles, and here's-the-kicker "kickplates" on the squared off toes. These shoes mean business! Perfect for kicking in glass ceilings! Don't mess with this woman--she knows her arts, and her shoes.

Hello Stilletto!!!

There comes a time when a girl has to forget her back pain and throw her orthotics to the wind. It's time for a night out in beautiful shoes, and since there aren't many occasions or locations to wear them, the ladies in my tap-dancing class decided that once a month we'd take off the taps and put on the stillettos, head for someplace fun where (this is important) we could SIT DOWN, have a cocktail or a glass of wine, and show off our best footware.

So this month we went to Greg Massett's wine-tasting room for flights of Syrah and Cabernet, pizza and chocolate. Yum!

Tim from Denyse's Shoes came along and dutifully acted as Footographer. (New location: in with the Shopkeeper at 32nd & Summitview--go see him.)

It was difficult to decide on "Best of Shoe" but these came the closest! First, Denise's: taxi-cab yellow wool flannel! Black patent trim! Stilletto heels that are impossible to walk on! And FEATHERS! Who could ask for anything more in a shoe? We were all going to buy Denise a drink for winning the contest but I think after a couple glasses of Massett wine we forgot that little detail. These are J. Crew.

Cute ballet flats!!! Shana, the new Mom (with a 5 week old) celebrated her night out in these little print jobs that were fabulicious & probably the only actually comfortable shoes in the room. They looked darling on her.

These are mine, one of the pairs I got in Las Vegas last month at a ramalama-ding-dong of a shoe sale. They're aqua & blue suede platforms with blue roses & 4" heels. Love 'em! Have nothing to go with 'em but who cares? They're Jessica Simpsons from Macy's in LV.

These were Lucy's offering to the partay: patchwork leather in autumn colors of yellow, bronze, orange, & brown. We decided they reminded us all of a jacket we once owned in the '70s. Charming! Naughty Monkey, if I remember right. Terri our Tapping Teacher wore some true-to-life Jungle Baby shoes--sort of an animal print mixed with a reptilian texture & rope soles. Tarzan! I can see these swinging from a vine somewhere. BCBG.

Now all we need is a premier viewing of Sex & the City.....